I read this blog post tonight that someone shared on Facebook, to the mama with a toddler and baby, and I was back there in an instant. With a lump in my throat. Feeling so very thankful I’m not there anymore, and wanting to help every single mom who is there because it’s hard. And you feel so alone. I pray I never forget how insanely difficult it was having a toddler and a baby. It was just SO hard. I want to cry thinking about it!
But you learn.
You will learn your boundaries. The things you can and can’t do. The errands that are worth running. How to scrape together 3 meals with what you have so you can go shopping alone after dinner or bed time. How to make it to your moms group (mine was a birth stories – turned postpartum support group) and how to wrangle two kids into their car seats.
That it’s ok to sob in the parking lot after your toddler was awful in the store. That it’s ok to cry in front of other people. To let go of some expectations. To let (make) your husband do bed time. That “snack lunch” is ok. That Netflix all day sometimes (or even for a week straight) won’t kill them. And one day you’ll realize that you are learning. And it will feel SO good.
Some days will be amazing and you will do it all. Feel all those feelings of accomplishment! Some days will be so defeating. Cry, grieve for what wasn’t, and pick yourself up so you can try again tomorrow.
It’s all about trying. Love your babies, you are doing your best for them. You are amazing.
Hugs to you, sweet mama. You’re doing a great thing.
P.S. it’s still hard. It always will be. I don’t fall for the “it will get easier” crap because I don’t think it does. You just get stronger. 🖤 🖤
P.P.S and let me remind you not to compare yourself to other mamas on Instagram, because I can guarantee that I’m not the only one who was literally posting the highlight reel of my life in that first year and then some, so that I could remember there actually were some good times amidst the dark struggle I will never forget. Here’s me, like “hey look, I’m ‘normal’! I can take my kids to the store and smile for a selfie because I feel like a superhuman because we got out of the house and I’m wearing both of them.” When really the only reason I was painfully wearing them both was so that my toddler wouldn’t run away from me. And it was still so hard that I avoided errands with them as much as possible until well…to be honest, I still try to avoid them 2 years later. But hey, I learned.